For those of you who don't know me, I started off with the state agency I work for 7 1/2 years ago as an admin. I did a lot of secretarial/fiscal work in college and after graduation. While in this role I decided to go to graduate school, and did so full time while still working full time. Because of staffing changes around the time I did my practicum and internship I had the opportunity to step up and work with some partners that I continue to work with today in my role as a counselor. About a year and a half after I became a counselor one of these esteemed partners made a comment to my manager that he felt I was better as a secretary and didn't seem to know how to do my job. What he really meant is I didn't do my job the way HE wanted me to do my job (which includes condoning unethical behavior) and he's an ornery fellow and I suppose wants to share his misery with the rest of the world.
I start this way to say this: in my career with my employer this is the only time I have ever been made to feel below someone else (that I have frequent dealings with) or worthless. I love my office because we are a team; no one is above anyone else socially despite different backgrounds, different education levels, and different positions.
I wish I were so lucky at church, though I feel the need to clarify that it is PEOPLE who help me to feel this way, not anything religious.
I just dealt with a demeaning email from someone in my private life who (shockingly) didn't have their facts right and accused me of some nonsense while I am providing a service to them.
Is it just me, or do people seriously struggle with behaving appropriately in emails? And not to be a snob about working folk, but it strikes me that the people who seem to struggle the most are in school or retired. I can't tell you how many obnoxious emails I've received from people at church demanding information or chastising me for a perceived failure. For all of you, I've got 6 words for ya:
I do not work for you.
And the people I have worked for, they don't treat me that way. They don't talk to me that way.
I wonder sometimes if my marital status has anything to do with it, because let's face it, when it comes to my chosen church social life I spend 90% of the time wondering if my marital status or non-motherhood status is an issue.
This is an urgent message for all religious subcultures with a non paid clergy:
Do married women feel they are treated this way?
Do men feel this way married or no? And to my single gals....
Do you find yourself being told to do things because you have "extra time"?
Do you receive rude emails or phone calls because someone feels they have the right to talk to you however they please?
Do you think having a husband would make people less inclined to try and boss you around?
If any of these apply you may be entitled to leave a comment and share your experiences in this blog.
