Again it's late and I'm tired but unable to sleep. Last time it was due to bronchitis and a sinus infection, this time I have an "emergency" dental appointment crammed between two meetings at work tomorrow and I'm anxious.
I appreciate the comments and feedback I got from so many women about my last blog post. It's helpful for me to better understand what others in different situations go through, and how they interpret or view me and my situation.
So here's what I found: people are just rude. Shocking, right? But I was a history major, and I was taught to always ask "why".
Someone pointed out to me that when an individual can't control much about their life they may attempt to control others, or control small details that may seem asinine or trite to others. I needed to hear that after the email I received, as it helped me view the sender differently, and try to understand things from their perspective.
However, as humans we have a right to be treated with respect. After so many years of existence my agency as finally put in our "Rights and Responsibilities" that all clients have to sign at application a clause that states the client needs to behave appropriately in order to continue receiving services. In other words, if you cuss me out over the phone I have a right to end the conversation and not communicate with you again until you can speak appropriately.
Another comment I received mentioned how some tend to expect or even demand more of others when they feel those people have it all together. Which is a good point, and I would say to those who are demanding of others, everyone has a different definition of "having it all together".
I believe that it is often hard to say "no" to things when you're part of something, be it a family, a congregation, a company, or a community.
One of my favorite quotes come from H. Burke Peterson:
There are things for each of you to do that no one else can do as well as you. If you do not prepare to do them, they will not be done. Your mission is unique and distinctive for you. Please don't make another have to take your place. He or she can't do it as well as you can.
Again, I can't speak for everyone, but I know that for myself I often feel obligated to take on everything around me that isn't being done. Plus I'm a terrible delegator and a bit of a control freak, so I get overwhelmed when I should be sharing the love. But as usual I digress.
I think it's important to be in tune with the Spirit enough to know when things are your responsibility, and when you can help, and on the flip side realize when it's appropriate to let some things fall to others to take care of. The end of the quote really brings that home for me:
If you will let Him, I testify that our Father in Heaven will walk with you through the journey of life and inspire you to know your special purpose here.
I still don't know my special purpose here. I know some things, and when I'm living my life the right way I receive guidance to expand my knowledge and talents in a way to best serve God and my fellow man.
I recognize some of the talents I have already (yes, including music, you're all thinking it, admit it, but there are others, I promise), and have learned that many of the hardships I have faced in life prepared me to be a better counselor, a better teacher, a better sister, a better daughter, and a better friend. And maybe, one day, they'll make me a better wife and a better mother.
Regardless, as part of life I need to continue to walk the fine line of being a help to those around me and not letting myself become the help to those who take me for granted.
