The Not-So-Lost Sheep

The Not-So-Lost Sheep

Sometimes things just speak to us, and I feel like "elevenoclockish" pretty much sums up the way I feel.  I'm happy in my life, but I often get caught in what I don't have, and certainly look forward to having my "lunch", or the next steps in life.  And so one day last winter I had an epiphany about what it means to be lost, and how sometimes we're not lost when we think we are.

I was on my way to my uncle's farm from my grandparents after Christmas to do some target practice.  I was driving and had the usual doubts about where the turn is off the highway.  The turn off is near Stuart Land and Cattle, but that's a pretty wide area, and I picked the wrong road.  Well, not necessarily the wrong road, as they're all connected, but not the shortest route.  I had told my uncle I would be there at a certain time, and since he loves to tease I could hear him laughing at me already for being lost.  But as always I want to be right, and I was thinking up my argument, that I wasn't lost, I just wasn't where I wanted to be.  I swear there was a light bulb over my head; this is the perfect metaphor for my life!  

I'm not lost.  I know who I am, I know God's plan, I try and follow Him in faith.  I have a good job, a good education, good friends.  I bought my own house before I turned 30, I've paid off my car, my health is decent enough.  I enjoy my callings, my coworkers, and I get to spend a lot of time with my family.  Honestly I could go on for awhile about all the good things in my life.

But being happy with life is not the same as knowing where you are, and it's taken me a long time to figure that out.  I'm not where I want to be, and I can't change that right now.  I can't make a husband magically appear, I can't snap my fingers and give myself a child, and I may not live in the area I've always wanted to.  And yet I'm on the right path.  I'm on a road that might take longer and have a lot of different turns then I was expecting, but I'm still on the right road!

So no, I'm not where most of the people are in my ward.  Yes, I still live in Chesterfield County.  Sure, my biological clock is making that ticking sound you hear right before a bomb goes off.  I'll still continue to get pangs of sadness when I see a couple holding hands; I'll still feel the ache of longing to be a mother, but as long as I stay on the right path, I'm not lost.  Michael Buble tells us that, but most important our Heavenly Father tells us that.  He's promised that we can always have His Spirit to be with us as we keep our covenants.  

I tell you this because for those of you who are in the same boat I am in, all is not lost!  Your'e not lost!  I told a client one time that a lot of people were in the same boat he was in, and he promptly told me that he wanted to get off that boat.  I can relate to that.

And if you're not in my boat, maybe you can get a little more insight into what we single LDS people go through.  Maybe you can understand why many of us women work and have careers, get more education; that we're not putting things off, we're just not there yet.

I promise, we're not all lost!